Posted 7 March, 2012 - 08:40, 1431 Reads, 0 Comments

Description

The Kraken: The Simulation Application for Naut...

The Kraken: The Simulation Application for Nautical Maneuvering

The Makers of The Kraken® Black Spiced Rum generously share with you this NEAR ACCURATE SIMULATION, so that you may experience the perils they first encountered in bringing this fine product to the world.

IMPORTANT

You Must be Aged 21 Years, or Greater, to Download this Application. Age Verification will be Performed before the Application can Commence. (Or You will be Duly Dismissed.)

Utilizing State-of-the-Art 19th Century Technology, You Must Attempt to Successfully Deliver a Shipment of Black Spiced Rum across the Darkest of All the Seas. Or Be Swallowed Whole By the Beast of Myth and Legend, the Mighty Kraken.

Harnessing the Natural Aquatic Properties of your Hand-held Apparatus, Navigate your Ship through an Array of Hazards, being Careful not to be Waylaid by One, as the Mighty Kraken will not Twice Ponder your Permanent Removal from the Map - By Means of Devouring. (Please Note: Do Not Submerge your Apparatus In Actual Water.)

Features:

Instructions Given By Prof. Thornton Cumberbatch, Undersea Oddity Specialist.

Spectacular Accelerometer-sensitive Ship Maneuverability.

Multiple Uncannily Realistic Hazards (Brace Yourself Accordingly.)

Three Remarkably True-to-Legend Kraken Perish Scenarios.

Fall-Off-The-Edge-of-Earth Accuracy

Actual Distress Cries of Fallen Seamen

Hand-etched Art, Etched by Real Hands.

Success Rewards Participant with Simulated Glass of Black Spiced Rum.

Original Musical Composition by, Master of Orchestras, Christopher Hicken.

Animation created by Madam Ariane Irle.